New Leaf

I've become frustrated with my life as it currently stands. With the decision to not go to Portland State for my Masters, I'm at a standstill and it makes me a bit uneasy. I need to look to the future. I need to make a final decision on what I want to do. I want to do too much - that's the problem. I can see myself as a professor (ultimate goal), an exercise movement scientist, a writer, a recruiter, a professional runner, a jewelry designer, a farmer... the list could go on, but those are the things I've tossed back and forth over the summer.

Frustration is taking a toll on how I sleep, eat and ultimately how I feel. I feel heavy, full and slow, but at the same time, shriveled and small. I go to bed at 11pm and wake up wide awake at 1:30 or 2am. It takes a bit to fall asleep again and then I'm up again at 4:25am to go to work. I spend 8 hours on my feet and some days I get a 2 hour break before I head to work again.

I've been eating badly. At work, I eat far too many bagels and whatever is in the donation box. I remedied this by bringing soy yogurt, banana and Cheerios and banning my hands from opening that box.

I need to stop snacking, stop drinking and start drinking more water. I'm unintentionally going more toward a raw diet. But that's because I've been getting bags of garden fresh veggies from friends. I'm trying to cut out coffee, sodas and added salt, and totally cutting out booze. I just want to feel healthy!

Ultimately this is all having an effect on my running. I feel tired and slow. I'm also frustrated with finding a shoe that fits my footsies. I miss my Nike Vomero 4s SO SO SO MUCH!!! I can't find a replacement. Those shoes were tailored to my feet. I have super high arches, very narrow feet, require stability in the mid and fore foot, I like my heel to feel cupped at the base and tied in around the top, but without the a heavy heel. I'm picky, I know.

{i miss you, baby}
On Friday I got a pair of Asics Nimbus. So far, I'm hesitant about them, but I've only put in 6 miles. I like that I can feel the insole is starting to "form" to my feet. They felt a bit flat when I purchased them, but after I few miles I can tell it's beginning to form. I don't like that my heel is slipping, but I've been playing with the lacing, so hopefully I'll find a happy place. I have 60 days to figure out if I like them or not. Why did you change such a good thing, Nike?! WHY!?

{keeping my eyes on you...}

I'm hoping that by the end of the week, I'll be feeling better. I'll be cleansed, happy and running light. I'll keep ya'll posted.